Wednesday, May 16, 2007
One, will you be there when he/she needs your hand under the cold, drifting snow?
Will you be there when he/she needs your voice and arms to sooth his/her fears?
Will you be there when he/she asks for your help even in danger?
Will you be there when he/she needs a lullaby to lull his/her predicaments to sleep?
Will you do all of these unconditionally?
Will you do all of these with no strings attached?
Will dou do all of these with an open heart?
Will you do all of these with unconditional love?
Second thing to consider...
Are you loved the same way?
So many emotions. So many hurt.
Please be strong. There is no other way.
Only with taking the risk will we find out if we are loved in return.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Because you can do anything anytime and anywhere you want. You rule your time and your work.
Ne ne... Why do you do so much chores so hard in one day when you can do them the next?
Why do something tomorrow when you can do them today? Besides, doing chores from the bottom of your heart will help build your physique and concentration to get things done.
Ne ne... Why are you studying a lot of things? Language, design, programming, etc.
Because you are never too old or too late to learn new things. With learning new things you may find a new interest or hobby or even an investment for the future.
That's a great plan!
Ne ne... How come you are often found with a lot of different people?
Because being in diverse people makes one learn how to deal with different qualities and personalities. Being with many people learns one to adapt with humanity.
Aaaah... No wonder you know how to talk to people!
Ne ne... How come you listen with different kinds of music?
Because music helps in satisfying the soul's emotion.
Ne ne... Can I ask one last question?
Sure. What is it?
How come I never see you smile from your heart?
Friday, May 11, 2007
The rain connotes tears from the sky. It washes debris away, feeding life with its cool embrace.
The rain encloses the heart to its tempting slumber. It has the magic of a lullaby. When you hear the pitter patter of raindrops on the roof and on the windowsill, you know the world outside has taken another face.
The green becomes greener, the brown becomes more brown. People curl onto a corner and read a good book. Others, appeal to its caressing magic of taking them into the world of dreams. The music of raindrops a constant chant for sleep.
For others though...
Rain drags them into a deeper realm of loneliness. It is the place where secrets lurk to feed on the life of its owner. What does rain gain from its evil work?
Rain traps a soul in its prison. When the person lays in bed realizing his predicaments, his head swarmed with insignificance, his facade broken down with his solitude, the rain emphasizes the person's self-worth and instead of calming the soul, the rain captured a heart.
The heart will either live... or die.
Each day it rained, when a person lays alone in bed... alone... we never know the wrath it may bring to the person.
Are you sure the person close to you is not a rain hater? Does this person live alone? Is this person happy being alone? Does this person give any indication of hating the rain?
Would you be there if this person needs your help amidst the rain?
Do you think it will not be too late?
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
She just resigned from her job.
All she wanted was to find her place.
All she wanted was to vent out her frustration to something that wouldn’t be hurt, wouldn’t talk back, that would not care less to anything she will say.
It was all a lie.
Head bowed, hiding behind straightened jacket collars, she trudged under the drizzle of morning rain. It was the almost the end of summer. The weather had started to veer away from the sunny atmosphere.
She didn't know where to stay for the remainder of the day. Emotionally burdened to have the incentive to find a new job, she opted to tire herself out by walking with no destination in mind.
She loves to walk. Under extreme heat or shivering cold, feeling the movement and the elements work against her calms her mind. It is the only task where she could place her body on auto mode, without qualms on her surroundings simce her senses has memorized the place of her heart. The city. The life of her world.
The only place she has, even though it hurts for her to stay.
She hates the city she’s in.
Every nook and corner could bring a lot of memories, good and bad, making her heart ache even more.
She wants to walk far away. Away from everyone she knows, from everyone she’s used to, from everything that knows her. She wants to be free. She wants to soar.
She wants to die.
She wants to die from the heartache, from the redundancy of everything there is. She wants to get away from the responsibilities. She wants to drown herself in a tidal wave. She wants to fall from the sky with no parachute. She wants to drive recklessly over a cliff. She wants to hurt herself.
Her greatest wish is to have the simple freedom of not to think of anything even for a moment… and to not have any fear of the consequences.
The drizzle had started to pour. A bit drenched, she took shelter under a small coffee shop’s doorstep. She rubbed her stiff hands and blew on them while surveying the shop's exterior. Her eyes glanced a bit on the shop’s window towards a table of a small family.
There were four of them. The mother spooned some food to the boy toddler beside her. The father and daughter laughingly chatted on the other side of the table, twirling their forks in their spaghetti. The daughter has some sauce on her chin and her father lovingly wiped them off with a table napkin. The daughter kissed her dad on the cheek in gratitude and they continued on laughing.
She couldn’t take her eyes on them. They were a happy sight to see against the gloomy atmosphere slowly surrounding the city. They had laughter, smiles, and companionship. They had the simple gift of harmony, one thing she is envious of.
Her heart swelled from the pretty picture. Taking her eyes off them, she bowed her head and gently crossed her hands across the upper part of her chest. She could feel it, the familiar blossoming ache from within her. She placed a bit of pressure to her chest to ward it off, but to no avail.
She raised her head and looked around. She observed the people passing by the shop, noting the color of their coats, the shape of their hairs, the accessories on their neck, the luggage they had. She scrutinized the shape and brilliance of the cars passing by. She followed the path of a stray cat as it entered a nearby alleyway, apparently hunting for its latest meal.
Try hard as she might, she couldn’t stop her head from glancing at the same table. This time, she didn’t fight it. She felt the pain again and a bit of wetness on her eyes. She was able to control the tears from falling, but her eyes blurred and her throat tightened.
Unknown to her, a familiar shape has been watching from a restaurant nearby.
He had never seen her with a sad face. At all the times they crossed path, her eyes had always held sparks from laughter or anger. Her eyes spoke of confidence, mirth and humor.
But she has never told him anything of her true self. Because of this, he is in complete darkness on how to reach her. She always seemed to hide something.
He doesn't know why but he wants to know more of her. He wants to see her secrets. He wants to unravel her complexity.
He wants to know the answer why he often thinks of her.
Taking his cellphone out of his coat, he pressed on a button and placed it on his ear.
"Hello? I want you to follow her. Find out as much as you can without her noticing. I'll expect a report asap."
With that, he stood up, threw some bills on the table and stepped out into the restaurant, crossed the street and grinning, tapped on the shoulder of his favorite victim.
She sharply turned her head and her eyes grew wide when she realized who it was.
The grin died from his face upon seeing unshed tears in her eyes.
"Oi," he leaned closer, "have you been crying?"
"Eh? You're weird." she stammered, quickly turning to rub the wetness from her eyes with the back of her palm. She turned back with a glare, "If you please excuse me, I have somewhere important to go to."
Even with rain still pouring, she went into it and quickly walked away from him, not looking back.
He remained standing, watching her back. "One day," he murmured.
He stepped into the rain and walked to the other direction.
Two individuals parted under the tearful sky of destiny. One hiding, the other pursuing. One ensues confidence, the other secretive.
Time will tell if the one who pursues will ever catch the other, and if he will ever accept the secrets he longed to hear.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
if I crouch behind the bushes
and weep in calm might
with the crickets glowing
water in the pond rippling
blood gushing across pale skin.
Need I tell more
of the blood
with all life, joy, hope, flow away in one direction
away from its birth
away from its master
away from source of existence.
No, you do not know
nor do I know
how much pain you feel
when you get to be alone.
But I tell you one thing
there is no way
I could be healed
from the loneliness
that I have been forced
to be in
for my conscience wouldn't be able to take it
to leave loneliness...
the only constant companion
I ever had.
Now is the matter of survival
It is the most important thing.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Conniving mysteries, hundreds of little windows, unseen eyes making its route all over the room. Is it real or merely a feeling from imagination?
No. There had been moments of denial, but seeing is believing and believing is when curiousity needs to learn more. Then action takes its course without often thinking. A dangerous game sometimes, but being in it has its merit of fun in a human life.
Dong… dong… dong…
The grandfather clock downstairs has woken from its hourly slumber. She ignores the unearthly sound, used to its deep song of melancholic loneliness in the hallway.
It is the hour of reckoning. A time for another journey, another breathtaking spectacle, another timeline of fate’s unknown fabrication.
Moonlight streaked from the tall veranda windows. Soft rays glistened the full length mirror in the room, its intricate gold frame shining, seeming to move, gaining a life of its own.
To anyone who looks, a simple mirror it is, sharply telling the truth of anyone who looks on it.
But to the black haired beauty, the mirror, given to her as a gift by her late beloved grandmother, holds a lot of memories, tales and legends her grandmother told her as a very inquisitive child.
Only to find out, most of her grandmother’s tales were true.
She touches the mirror’s surface. It ripples. As the ripples reached the frame, a different face from her own smiles back at her. The strong face of a handsome man beckons as she feels the mirror’s surface grow warm and long, strong fingers twines with hers.
She is being pulled towards the mirror, the surface absorbing her as she steps into it.
Time of freedom. Time of redemption. Time to be herself, away from her reality. An escape from the redundancy of her life.
The ripples ceased. The grandfather clock has stopped its tune, the last note hangs heavily in the air, waiting for a breath to soften its overwhelming presence in the house.
When will she come back? Will she even come back? Only time will tell if she will.